Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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