im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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