porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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