exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
