All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
from now on my penis is your penis
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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