Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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