pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
