I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
