She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
