Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
