They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
