i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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