I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize