Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize