i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize