Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
