So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
