apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
