He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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