dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Someone came in the potted fern
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
