How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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