genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
