lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
