So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize