Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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