i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
