nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
