I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
