pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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