i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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