No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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