No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
