Four minutes until I can fart!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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