she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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