I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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