I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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