New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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