somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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