i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
