oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
