eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
