Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
