i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
