i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
