I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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