O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
