i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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