im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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