drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She needs sedatives and a leash
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
