guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
