We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
