i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
