Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
