I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
