We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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